By Margo Rabb

“Lucy Clark has had it. After being bullied one too many times at the boarding school her parents enrolled her in, sixteen-year-old Lucy—who has been underestimated her entire life—retaliates. But when the fallout is far worse than she meant it to be, she gets suspended and sent to New York City, where she must serve as a full-time companion to the eccentric Edith Fox. Once in Manhattan, however, Lucy discovers the glamorous, mysterious Edith is nothing like she expected. With Edith, Lucy learns to revel in the freedom of being herself. And though Edith’s world of hidden gardens and afternoon teas is magical and beguiling, there’s one other thing about her that makes her unlike anyone Lucy has ever met…she thinks someone is trying to kill her. And Lucy has to find out who it is.” (Goodreads).

I was not expecting this book to have the vibe that it did, but I was pleasantly surprised. It took the form of a passive investigation-of-attempted-murder and coming of age novel, but it explored a lot of complex ideas of love and finding purpose. While I disagree with some of the conclusions it made on those topics, I do think Lucy’s journey and experiences were heartwarming and valuable to readers.

To be honest, the plot was not the focus here, but that didn’t necesarily take away from the book to me. It seemed kind of perfectly ridiculous; the circumstances and people Lucy ended up around, the fact that no one really seemed too worried about the murderer supposedly running around, Lucy’s relationship with her parents, her best friend running away to spend the summer with her… but everything led to Lucy having to wrestle with herself and her self esteem. The plot served to lead Lucy down a path of self-discovery, and forced her out of her comfort zone and into new, healthier relationships. It was a little bit of a weird experience, feeling as thought the plot is not the focus of the story, but somehow Rabb made it work.

Lucy Clark followed Lucy’s point of view and showed her internal thoughts as she worked through the events of the book. I think the style really fit with the goal of the book: you could see just how Lucy’s past has developed her thought patterns and how she was trying to change that.

I also loved Rabb’s descriptive language and side plots involving plants, gardening, and different character’s passions. It gave the book a very cozy feel even as they investigate attempted murder. It showed how the things people love can define them, and show you who they are.

Lucy was a very flawed character, but it just made her feel more real. She struggled with self love, understanding other people’s love, and trust in relationships. Because of how relatable she was, it made it easy to imagine yourself in the same shoes.

I appreciated how Lucy built relationships with a wide and diverse variety of characters in age, gender, and experiences. The older women were portrayed as strong and wise, the younger people were all working on finding themselves in some way, and the adults were all struggling with their own pasts and futures.

Unfortunately, a lot of the other characters felt like foils to Lucy or props in the plot/self-discovery journey. The older women especially were very silly and fun, but their personality traits were very linear and simple. Again, this didn’t take away from the story so much as really focus everything on Lucy. However, I personally would’ve preferred to see more character growth and complexity in the side cast.

I’m giving Lucy Clark Will Not Apologize four stars! It was a very cute, cozy self discovery novel. The ridiculous events and characters pulled me in at the beginning, and my immediate attachment to Lucy kept me reading. My one problem with the book, however, was the final message: real love is unconditional and those who love you will not try to change you. Lucy struggles a lot with her parents, who say they love her but are always trying to change her. At the end, after experiencing unconditional love from people who say she is perfect just the way she is, she realizes that her parents don’t really love her, but the version of her they want to see.

I honestly think this is kind of a dangerous message. There is a difference between unconditional love and thinking someone’s perfect how they are. I think someone who loves you and who thinks you’re doing something or participating in something that’s not good for you will encourage you to stop. A parent will tell their child to eat their veggies even if they don’t want to, a spouse will tell their partner not to drink too much if they have a problem, and a friend will help their obese friend exercise and eat healthy in order to avoid the many issues that can come with being severely overweight. That doesn’t mean they don’t love them for who they are. In fact, I would say risking a relationship to help someone become better means you love them even more.

Now, Lucy’s parents definitely had an idea of Lucy that wasn’t entirely achievable or something Lucy wanted. Their goals for her were unfounded and based on becoming perfect instead of raising their child properly. They were trying to force her to “change” when I couldn’t see anything Lucy really needed to work on (other than her self esteem, which they didn’t seem worried about). But I don’t think the author should be teaching young adults that someone trying to change you does not love you. It just depends on how they are trying to change you.

Despite this problem I have with the message, I would still recommend this book to anyone looking for a cozy coming of age story featuring a relatable main character and silly cast. Just keep in mind what biblical love truly is as you read it.